Sooo….yeah….the year REALLY WAS 1998.
I was a recent graduate from high school (thank gawd) and about to embark on my idea of the afterlife. Thus…working. I never was a big fan of school. Unless it was art, or English, or skipping out. What? I made truancy a thing in my school. So much so that they hired a liaison police officer to keep tabs, then started issuing citations for missing class. I know. The horror! What fun is high school without a little trip to the pet store at 9am for a new goldfish? Or to the fraternity houses in Milwaukee….just because….hell yeah, I can!
Anyways, two citations later, and a shiny diploma to boast about (hahaha…showed ‘em, didn’t I?….suckers!), I was done. No more school for this gal. It was on to bigger & better things.
Bigger & better being the “CITY”….Milwaukee. Which, I know….I know…isn’t New York or Los Angeles, or even Chicago. But after growing up in a village of 3,000 folks….Milwaukee was my Mecca.
I was told by my parents (who, now I see were just fed up with my rebellious crap) that I needed to find a full time job by July 25th or I was out on the streets. Dramatic, right? Well, not only did I land a job at the largest foreclosure law firm in Wisconsin, I met a boy. Yup. I showed them. Hmmph.
And here it begins. Got your crackers & mouse ready (the fly comes later…you know, for the shit)?
I met a boy named Pete.
By boy….I really mean MAN. This dude was OLD school! Old by my high school standards. He was ten years older than I. And I was eighteen. A mere child, if you will..a BABY! (kay…threw that in there for dramatics. Loved it, didn’t ya? Well, get used to it!) I may have been a mere child, but I was no dummy. Also….I was otherwise involved. With my high school boyfriend. Who, wasn’t in high school no mo. Can you tell I have a thing for the older boy?
Anywho. I digress. Back to Peter. The older boy of the moment.
I met Pete at the law firm I was working at. I was the receptionist (but of course!) and he was the court runner. I was approached one day by this bubbly lady who asked me “have you tried Pete’s cupcake’s yet? he asked me to save one for you”.
Oh. Really? Well. Then.
“Nope…I hadn’t.”
And by that I thought that I hadn’t tried the cute lawyer’s cupcakes. You know….the tall dark & handsome junior attorney from upstairs.
SCORE!!! High school boyfriend say what?!?!
Yeah. It was me saying “what!?!?”. As it wasn’t the cute junior attorney that was offering me his “cupcake” (I liked to think that was in quotes…you know….whatever!).
It was the other Pete in the office. The court runner. The part time court runner. The part time court runner who just not only broke up with but also kicked out of the apartment…..the girl who was training me.
Yeah. Can you say AWKWARD? Well I can…..FREAKING EFFING MUTHA OF ALL AWKWARD!
After all those shenanigans I was briefly hated in the office. You know how all that girly poo office politics work. I shat all over the girl code before I even knew it existed. Just like that. SHAT ALL OVER IT. Luckily Pete was quite the casanova. And Lisa, the girl who trained me & Pete’s ex, was quite the beeeeee-yatch. So after everyone thought about it for a mere minute, I divided the office. There was Team Sara & Team Lisa.
I was soooo rooting for Team Sara.
And so was Pete.
Dude had his sights set on me. Like a damn bat crossed with a dolphin crossed with an eagle. This kid wasn’t joking around. One day I went out to my car to find it stuffed with Laura Ashley boxes filled with Laura Ashley clothes.
***SIDE NOTE: I am NOT a Laura Ashley girl. Sheesh. Barf. Oh, and even back then when I was a size “high school skinny” I never could fit into the pants he bought me. Ohhhh….foreshadowing!
But I was swooned. Come on. A guy fills your car with clothes in pretty, tissue stuffed boxes & you tell me you wouldn’t at least think about it. Yeah. That’s what I’m saying.
SO we went on a date. This Pete the court runner guy & I.
And, me, being the very classy gal I am, I broke up with my then boyfriend….for the weekend. You know….because you never do…know. :)
